A first like no other..

It really does amaze me how quickly the holidays roll around.  Wasn't it just New Years 2011 yesterday?  But some how it has happened, Thanksgiving Day is just five days away and I feel so blessed to be able to host it again this year.  To accomodate everyone's crazy schedules we have our family gathering on the Saturday following the actual day.  And I truly appreciate the little extra time to get it all together with Mom leading the way.
But this year is different in a very big way.  This is the first big holiday where our Daddy won't be with us.  He will always be in our hearts no matter what but physically he'll be far far away.  There will be many reminders of his missing presence, from his grumblings of letting the turkey cool to long, to his careful carving of said turkey and many fingers slipping in for pre-samples.  The way Daddy could quietly announce its time to pray would bring all hands together around the loaded table, heads bowed in prayer and then the feasting would begin. Everyone eating way too much, savoring every bite down to the best Chocolate Creme Pie in the world.  Daddy was usually the first to slip into the after dinner nap, followed by many others.  Those memories will never be forgotten.
So on this Thanksgiving Day like no other,  I know we will all forever remember that Daddy is truly with us. 

Birthday wishes for my big sis!

Happy Birthday Marsha! Hmm "double nickle" sound about right?  But really whose counting the years anyway. Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you this day, the anniversary of your birthday.  Thinking back all those years of the young couple who are, thankfully, our parents.  I'm sure they never dreamed what their future would be, only living in the moment, their beginning of a new family.  They knew of their love for each other and it was truly the beginning of what we are all today. 
So happy birthday to my big sister, know that there is lots of love here for you.  Wish we could share a drink to celebrate together.  Love you forever and then some!
Debbie & family

Have you seen my Daddy?

I truly wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, this disease that is slowly taking my Daddy away.  And I'm not even witnessing his slowly slipping away first hand, only through daily calls to Mom and sisters.  Dad's been battling some kind of dementia for the past 11  years, the worst years being the last two.  The stories of Daddy not remembering where the bathroom in the house is, or who is that lady he's been married to for the past 54 years and whats her name.  The silly things that could almost make you laugh quickly turned into heartbreaking stories filled with unbelievable sadness.  The time eventually came and he needed more care than Momma could possibly give, a hard decision  and the placement made.  This sweet man has been consumed by a disease so unfair and so cruel that my Daddy isn't truly there anymore.  Only time will tell what his future holds but in the meantime our family is mourning a passing of a Daddy in the hardest of ways.

Boy Scout Camp 2011 and what it means to me.

I've often said I couldn't wait for this week to come. The time when ALL the males in my house would be off on their summer adventure(s).  I dreamed of the peace and relaxation that would come with not being the one in charge.  Not having to plan out daily menus, organize household chores, make sure all the laundry was caught up and keep peace on the home front.  So this first week of July 2011 has finally arrived and with it a truly empty nest. 
The oldest son has been gone all summer as it is, up in Montana stretching his wings of independence even further than I realized would happen so soon.   Daughter has had this weekend booked for a visit with her boyfriend in Texas and husband and the two remaining boys are off at Boy Scout Camp in Oklahoma.  That leaves myself and the two dogs home alone.  Alone.
Initially the quiet was welcomed, calming and peaceful.  Even the dogs seemed to agree, eyeing my every move as if it disturbed their rest.  I ate when I wanted, what I wanted, where I wanted and it was good.  I numbed myself with hours of reality television, senseless computer games and reading til all hours of the night.  Truly a good day.
Then day two arrived, again quiet.  Too quiet?  I think so.  Is it possible to miss the quibblings of two boys that normally drives me crazy?  Even the occasional rambling rumblings from the husband as he roams the house on yet another work conference call?  The dogs keep "looking" at me as if to say "where is everybody", I'm sure thats what they're saying.  This truly is not natural.  This house that has housed a family of 6 people seems to sound hollow with me at the center of its heart. I am convinced that all the clocks are running slower too, time is not moving like it normally would.
Seriously, I think it is an eye opening moment in my life, what I always dreamed would be truly heavenly, suddenly seems not so great.  I've known I love my family and have said it often.  But realizing that when family isn't here, home isn't really home.  So this week I will work on getting through this week. I will ignore the empty bedrooms, quiet family room and closed empty office.  I'll find plenty of busy work to make the days go by, try not to look at the clock to often and mark off the days on the calendar.  I'll even work up a convincing case of indignation when the stinky campers come home with the mess that they usually bring home.  But know that deep inside I will be so happy that at least part of this family is back together again. 

Six months

Six months have passed and our sweet little baby has grown.  No longer able to lie comfortably under the kitchen table, she favors her big over stuffed cushion instead.  Her night time crate is honestly large enough for a small child to crawl in comfortablely and they have! Yes, Millie turned six months old this month and apparently didn't get the memo that she is NOT a lap dog.  Tim of course is thrilled that she loves to join him in his relaxing chair of an evening.  Her largeness is ignored and lots of love is doted on her curly head. 

This addition to our family has been a good one, she truly is a member of this family and I for one and thrilled she is.